Well they were secrets .. until now!
I thought it would be fun to do something a little different today, and naturally that led to me here where I am about to confess some of my ‘naughty’ mommy secrets. The kind of things that are probably frowned upon by others however I hope some of you can sit there and laugh along in realisation that you do these things too!
1. Baby wipes are a godsend.
Whoever invented baby wipes deserves some kind of peace prize for making the lives of mothers around the world just that little bit easier. I know what the first and foremost use of a baby wipe should be. But dive past that and there is a whole other world to baby wipes! From cleaning door frames, skirting boards and kids toys to even giving the school shoes a once over on a sunday night, baby wipes are a godsend. I know deep down I should give them up soon. We are hurtling towards 4 years old at speed and I’m running out of excuses to keep buying them by the box load. But seriously I LOVE THEM.
2. The toilet is my spa.
That’s right, I said spa. And do you know why? Because its the one place that I can escape to without a small human or a man shape thing following me. I’ve nearly trained both to stop asking me sodding questions through the door. I pretend to need a wee multiple times just to go in there and hide for a few mins of piece and tranquility to myself. I love it in there. Sometimes I even grab a baby wipe and have a little clean of the windowsill while I’m there.
3. Sometimes mommy tells fibs.
Yeah, I know I shouldn’t. Yes I am aware it’s bad. No, I do not care. Sometimes I say its bedtime at 6:45pm because I am going slightly insane. I may have blamed Daddy for eating the last milky way in the fridge. My child may now think that the ice cream van only plays a tune when he has nothing left. McDonalds aren’t open on Sundays and the bulb that has gone out in our 12 light spotlight is totally a Santa Cam. Okay thats enough of those, because it’s starting to sound like all I do is lie.
4. The iPad is my sleep saviour.
Another bad one I know but I can’t be the only one who hands over an iPad on Sunday morning at 6am, because I would happily allow Evie to watch some strange American kids on youtube opening blind bags rather than get out of my warm bed. So I scooch over and allow the tiny bed invader in and try my hardest not to hear the annoying high pitched voices of grown ass adults pretending to care which my little pony they get.
5. Mommy doesn’t always listen.
To be honest this one tends to back fire on me. There has been numerous times that I have absentmindedly said yes to something and only realised what that ‘something’ is seconds later. Normally I have said yes to buying some tat off an advert (bloody mashems and ponies). I used to be okay because she wouldn’t remember but suddenly she forgets nothing. Nada. Really have to stop this one!
6. Nugget thief.
Evie seems to think that a happy meal comes with 3 nuggets. Someone, who shall remain nameless, always pinches one when she opens everything up. I realised how bad this was when last time we had a McDonalds I didn’t want to pinch a nugget and she was super excited because ‘she was lucky because they put an extra nugget in’. Turns out she can count now too…..
7. Oh no, its ran out of batteries…
It hasn’t. They just don’t exist anymore.
If you’ve got any ‘secrets’ of your own you’d like to share please feel free to pop them in the comments. Mainly so I can start using them because I think the small human has me sussed!
Until next time …