Well they were secrets .. until now!
I thought it would be fun to do something a little different today, and naturally that led to me here where I am about to confess some of my ‘naughty’ mommy secrets. The kind of things that are probably frowned upon by others however I hope some of you can sit there and laugh along in realisation that you do these things too!
1. Baby wipes are a godsend.
Whoever invented baby wipes deserves some kind of peace prize for making the lives of mothers around the world just that little bit easier. I know what the first and foremost use of a baby wipe should be. But dive past that and there is a whole other world to baby wipes! From cleaning door frames, skirting boards and kids toys to even giving the school shoes a once over on a sunday night, baby wipes are a godsend. I know deep down I should give them up soon. We are hurtling towards 4 years old at speed and I’m running out of excuses to keep buying them by the box load. But seriously I LOVE THEM.
2. The toilet is my spa.
That’s right, I said spa. And do you know why? Because its the one place that I can escape to without a small human or a man shape thing following me. I’ve nearly trained both to stop asking me sodding questions through the door. I pretend to need a wee multiple times just to go in there and hide for a few mins of piece and tranquility to myself. I love it in there. Sometimes I even grab a baby wipe and have a little clean of the windowsill while I’m there.
3. Sometimes mommy tells fibs.
Yeah, I know I shouldn’t. Yes I am aware it’s bad. No, I do not care. Sometimes I say its bedtime at 6:45pm because I am going slightly insane. I may have blamed Daddy for eating the last milky way in the fridge. My child may now think that the ice cream van only plays a tune when he has nothing left. McDonalds aren’t open on Sundays and the bulb that has gone out in our 12 light spotlight is totally a Santa Cam. Okay thats enough of those, because it’s starting to sound like all I do is lie.
4. The iPad is my sleep saviour.
Another bad one I know but I can’t be the only one who hands over an iPad on Sunday morning at 6am, because I would happily allow Evie to watch some strange American kids on youtube opening blind bags rather than get out of my warm bed. So I scooch over and allow the tiny bed invader in and try my hardest not to hear the annoying high pitched voices of grown ass adults pretending to care which my little pony they get.
5. Mommy doesn’t always listen.
To be honest this one tends to back fire on me. There has been numerous times that I have absentmindedly said yes to something and only realised what that ‘something’ is seconds later. Normally I have said yes to buying some tat off an advert (bloody mashems and ponies). I used to be okay because she wouldn’t remember but suddenly she forgets nothing. Nada. Really have to stop this one!
6. Nugget thief.
Evie seems to think that a happy meal comes with 3 nuggets. Someone, who shall remain nameless, always pinches one when she opens everything up. I realised how bad this was when last time we had a McDonalds I didn’t want to pinch a nugget and she was super excited because ‘she was lucky because they put an extra nugget in’. Turns out she can count now too…..
7. Oh no, its ran out of batteries…
It hasn’t. They just don’t exist anymore.
If you’ve got any ‘secrets’ of your own you’d like to share please feel free to pop them in the comments. Mainly so I can start using them because I think the small human has me sussed!
Until next time …
Sarah xx
All of the above! A mom has to do what a mom has to do! I don’t know how I functioned in life before baby wipes! I even buffed off paint from a fender bender, lol.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love this! Makes me realise Its not just me
LikeLiked by 1 person
My eldest is 17 and my youngest 8 and I still think babywipes are the best thing since sliced bread. Definitely! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s fun to read it . These are not just your secrets . It’s every mom’s secrets .
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love this! I’ve done some of these on more than one occasion! Our little secret;-)
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are so funny. My kids are older. Ow but I used to lie to them all the time. I still do but I am more careful because now they remember everything and I get caught. Lol but you had me dying when you said that mcdonalds was closed on Sundays and the ice cream truck only plays the time when he runs out of ice cream. Wish I would have thought of those. Great read.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So funny! I totally do the battery thing! Noisy toys are my nemesis.
– Christine
LikeLike
Girl! You’ve stolen all of my tricks! I love it!
LikeLike
Bahaha!!!! I do so many of these!!!! LOL my kiddo thinks nuggets come in 3s too 😉
LikeLike
Yes to all of this! Glad I’ve found someone who thinks like I do!
LikeLike
This is something a mom can very well relate to this post. Loved reading this.
LikeLike
This made me giggle! My kids haven’t reached the age of not coming to the bathroom with me, but I did get to actually take a long bath after bedtime the other night! Haha
LikeLiked by 1 person
A hot bath with no invader! What is this magic you speak of?!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha! Great post, so well written and funny! And I thought I was the only one who does this.
LikeLike
Can totally relate! I use baby wipes for EVERYTHING! I’m all about screen time for mommy breaks and we totally remove batteries from toys that are annoying…
LikeLike
Ohmigoodness, this is priceless. Speak the truth lady!
LikeLike