It is nearly upon me once more. And I don’t think I have fully recovered from the last one. What the hell am I going on about? The dreaded children’s birthday party. It always seems like such a good idea but its just 2 hours of sweat and tears until someone brings out the cake and we can all go home.
I know it’s a choice I make. I could just forego the birthday party, but that seems a little unfair, and I know Evie loves them. I could hold it in my house, but hell to the no is that shit ever happening, I like my house too much.
For her first few parties I was ‘that’ mom. I had pinterest boards full of ideas about themes, scoured the internet for matching décor items, and had all these ideas of how perfect it would look. I spent hours purchasing craft items for party bags, my mom made party cones and brought each child a badge to wear. Prizes were brought for game winners and disco lights were hired. Insane. My dad actually spent about 3 weeks downloading music for her last party. 3 damn weeks.
For the last two years I have gone big. For her second birthday I hired out a small soft play centre and invited nearly 20 kids. I could not be assed to cook for them all so I went down to Maccies and brought 20 happy meals where I begged them to send identical toys with each meal because I didn’t want to deal with the outcry from them all. Whilst it seems like a simple idea, it was a pain going to collect them and I felt I missed most of the party.
Last year I went big again and hired a community hall, that I filled full of kids. Me and my mom went mental on loads of food for nearly 30 kids plus all their siblings and parents and it cost a bloody fortune.
None of it, of course, goes perfectly to plan. Last year for example, I ordered loads of my little pony themed banners and decorations. The order? Turned up 3 weeks after her party. So the night beforehand I was running around Poundland grabbing whatever I could to do up the community hall with. Which is crappier than you think when it’s a few days after Christmas so everything is flipping Santa themed.
Me and my friends blew up about 100 balloons, for the kids to loose their shit when one popped and therefore we had to gather them all up and shove them in another room to stop the screaming. Most were uninterested in the party games and tbh I could have just popped on a Disney CD and threw packets of wotsits and a box of frubes at them at 15min intervals and they would have been just as happy.
This year I’m swearing to myself it will be different. I have booked a good old-fashioned wacky warehouse party. Those poor sods can deal with the kids. There will be just 10 of her friends, not the massive free for all of bygone. They will be served hot cooked food, unlimted squash and they even get pudding. No party games, just run around like lunatics and have fun. I will go to the card factory and purchase one balloon saying Happy Birthday, or a pony on it. I refuse to stress about cake, and I shall cut it up and hand it out with a bag of haribo as they leave in a poundland generic party bag. Then I shall walk into the adjoining pub and order myself a large wine, and say how I am never doing this again … and then go and book the date for the following year.
Until next time