Ah flip. You think that you are all on top of everything and then bam! You realise that actually you are so bloody far behind. That’s right gang, Christmas is hurtling towards us like a speeding rocket, and suddenly the realisation has hit me that I am not ready!
I thought I was you see. Because I have been picking things up for all the kids here and there throughout the year. Evie is always my number one priority and she has been done a while, bar a few horse-riding lessons that need to be purchased in December. The rest of the kiddies that I buy for were finished last month and I was starting to feel a little smug about the whole thing. A bit organaised and clever. Bloody Karma well and truly stung me in the butt when I realised that I have a whole heap of people to buy for and no idea where to start. Parents, Grandparents, family and friends, all with JACK ALL.
I start buy panic looking on eBay and etsy. First I aim to sort mom and nan, because each year I have to part with my hard earned cash and purchase not one, but two Cliff Richard calendars. I used to go into the stores and physically buy them, but that shit isn’t happening anymore. Finally I manage to find the one they are after and shove two in my basket. Then I hear that the old codger has a new album out, so I buy that too. No wonder the guy has a vineyard in Portugal. It’s financed by these bloody calendars brought by mugs like me. I decided that I would finish both of theirs off later, and then start on the next ones.
For Grandad I start looking at country and western things, as my Nan and him run a social club. I type in reenactment props into eBay and realise that £300 for a cowboy hat is a little out of my price range, and settle on a sheriffs badge. I really hope he hasn’t already got one, but I can’t just buy another Elvis CD!
I then start on the list of friends. Luckily the one I managed to sort in the Disney store sale months ago and I give past me a Half five for actually DOING SOMETHING! In my panic mode, I have freaked out my mates and we are all panicking together. I come to a decision that EVERYONE IS GETTING A CANDLE BECAUSE I AM LOOSING THE WILL TO LIVE.
I pop onto the HomeBargains website to look at candles, because their wickford ones are lush. However it will only let me buy a case of 36 ‘Wedding Day’ ones which I don’t bloody want as Xmas gifts to be quite frank with you. I make a quick mental note that I will have to go into the store, which I hate because I end up buying random crap. Humph!
I head back to eBay and hope for a miracle. I search for random things, such as ‘gift’, ‘toys for boys’ and ‘christmas’ . As expected it sparks little joy and I realise that this is getting me nowhere. I resign myself to writing a list of what I need to buy, and wondering how many people like gift cards.
Christmas is stressful. End of. Doesn’t matter what people say, about how it isn’t about gifts, how it’s a time for peace and blah blah blah it is stressful! For now, I am going back to internet shopping.
Until next time …