Do you ever feel like you are slowly morphing into a ‘stereotypical mom’?
I feel like I am transitioning into everything I thought I wouldn’t be. That I am picking up certain traits that I previously would never have thought I would. Lets go through a few popular ones …
Do as I say and not as I do:
Yes that old line. Do you find yourself saying things that your own mom used to say to you? The kind of things that would drive you mad as a child. You know what I mean, when I say the typical ‘momisms’.
Evie is developing a right little attitude when she wants to, and I found myself cracking out some wicked one-liners left right and centre. Such things like, ‘I don’t care if *insert child’s name* did it, it doesn’t mean you can’ or ‘what part of no don’t you understand’.
Evie is just as quick with her retorts of ‘It’s not fair’ and ‘Mommy that’s mean’. I feel like this must just be general lines that are engraved in our DNA and are unlocked at certain ages, like some achievement in a video game.
Can you PLEASE hurry up?
Every. Flipping. Morning. We have the same damn routine. Every morning I end up like a crazed possessed woman chanting ‘can you hurry up’ every 3 seconds. Nothing can make a three year old get dressed or put her shoes on quicker than she flipping well wants to. Bribing her will not work, and yet she will still expect the sodding kinder egg after school. Shouting will not work because she will burst into a fit of tears that will put you back another ten mins. Asking her nicely to brush her teeth will mean she suddenly wants to start all over again because, and I quote, ‘You made me smile, now I have to clean them again’.
Could you please Share?
This one is like you are speaking a foreign language. As an only child, Evie loves having people around to play. That is, until they actually dare to play with her toys and then she looses her shit about it. She has more toys than one child could ever possibly need, however she is really OCD about them. Shimmer and Shine must never step foot in a My little Pony castle. Happyland figures cannot mix with the Little People and if you even consider putting her Barbie’s and her mermaids together she will looses her collective shit. So when her lovely little friends come and play, just like any other child would, I get tears and tantrums because Baby Annabel is in Baby CeCe’s pushchair. Priorities child … priorities.
Can we turn our ears on now?
CODE RED, THIS IS A MOMMY CODE RED. Evie has now learnt that when I use this particular line that mommy is about to loose her shit. This line is when she has pushed all of my buttons, but we are out and I cannot loose it at her. Normally we get instant behavior change when I say this, because she knows she is absolute 2 seconds from being put back in the car and going home. Once or twice she has pushed, and low and behold she has gone home. Because I am mean. Because she has done my nut in. Because home has wine and wine fixes all.
Luckily, Evie isn’t actually that bad that often. I can count on one hand the times that we have had to take her away from something and leave, or that we have sent her to her room. But, she is only little and has plenty of time to learn new ways to push my buttons!
Until next time …