I know I am probably preaching to the choir on this one. I know that many will think I am being a dick because their kids never sleep. But lord am I tired.
I seem to be living off the elixir of coffee at the moment. Evie seems to be going through some form of sleep regression (Is that even a thing a four?). She has always been a really great sleeper and so I am crap when she goes through these little phases of not sleeping. It always comes during the time when I am the busiest and therefore most aggravated.
This last week has been so freaking hard. My car was out of order for the week and so I was dependent on others to ferry me too and from work. Luckily I work with two awesome friends who have picked Evie and me up, dropped Evie to her childminder and then taken me to work, all to save me the money of taxis. Money that no one simply has in January. Money that I have had to go to the bank of Mom to get for fixing my car anyway (Love you mama!).
Matt has been ill since Christmas with what I thought was man flu. I have had very little patience with him over it because he wouldn’t get bloody seen at the doctors. It took me loosing my shit at him on Saturday morning and calling 111 who said he needed to be seen as an emergency. Long story short, he has pre pneumonia and was really sick. He narrowly avoided being hospitalised and has been put on some super strong medication. So I’ve felt fucking awful for being a mardy bitch with him about coming home and going straight to bed all week.
My mom has had an operation as well, and so she’s in pain and is not her best. I hate when my mom is like this because I really worry about her. I know she will be fine, but seeing your mom in pain, and being helpless to ease it sucks major ass.
Add into all of this that Evie has developed a right bloody attitude you could say that I have had enough. I think that because she has so much attention and time on her over Christmas and her birthday she feels like she has come back down to earth with a bit of a bump. However I am loosing my calm with her attitude, her answering back and her general defiance. I try not to be a shouty mama with her but I can lie, I have lost it this weekend and my patience has snapped. Sunday afternoon I made her go to bed at 3.30pm for a nap because I realised it boiled down to be completely knackered. This is her own doing, because she got up at 5:45am and had a blue arsed fit at me because I wouldn’t let her have her iPad. I think I am going to have to take it away for a while because she is becoming far too dependent on the bloody thing.
I suppose there is little point to this blog haha. But it has been very therapeutic to just write it all down. I could really do with a day just for me. The last one I had was when mom took me for a spa day last February. So if anyone fancies sending a voucher my way, it would be more than appreciated. Haha.
I think I need to honestly start looking after myself a little more though. And stop the sheer amount of coffee I drink!
Until next time …